Raising a Low-Maintenance Baby: A New Approach to Parenting
In recent years, there has been a growing conversation around the concept of raising “low-maintenance” babies. One mother, Aubrey Matthesius, who describes herself as a “chill mom,” has sparked discussions by suggesting that many new parents are inadvertently creating “high maintenance” babies through their parenting choices. She believes that by simplifying routines, reducing anxiety, and letting go of unnecessary pressures, it is possible for any parent to raise a baby that is easy to care for.
Aubrey, a 27-year-old content creator and stay-at-home mom from Phoenix, Arizona, shares her experiences and insights into how she raised her son, Joel, with a focus on simplicity and independence. Her approach includes avoiding overcomplicated schedules, not over-spending on baby toys, and not constantly holding the baby to prevent attachment issues. Instead, she advocates for a more traditional method of parenting, one that involves sleep training, minimal reliance on modern baby gadgets, and a focus on reducing stress.
The Philosophy Behind Low-Maintenance Parenting
Aubrey credits much of her philosophy to the wisdom of older generations. She recalls speaking with her mother-in-law, Leanne, and other women in her community about how they raised their children. According to Aubrey, these women did not overcomplicate things. They simply followed what worked for them, without the added pressure of social media or modern parenting trends.
She emphasizes that low-maintenance parenting does not mean neglecting standards or love. Rather, it means being flexible and adaptable. For example, she started sleep training Joel at four months old, which helped him learn to fall asleep independently. This, in turn, allowed her to manage her time more effectively and reduce stress during the day.
Aubrey also highlights the importance of simplifying daily routines. She suggests preparing the night before, such as cleaning the playroom or packing the car, to make leaving the house with a baby less stressful. She also advises against relying on products like bottle warmers or wipe warmers, which can add unnecessary complexity to the parenting experience.
Addressing Common Concerns
One of the most controversial aspects of Aubrey’s approach is her stance on co-sleeping. She strongly advises against it, stating that once a baby becomes accustomed to sleeping in the same bed as the parents, it can be difficult to change that habit. She also encourages parents to consider introducing a bottle, as this allows others to feed the baby and gives the parent some much-needed time away.
Another key point she raises is the role of “mom guilt.” Aubrey believes that this emotional burden can prevent parents from making rational decisions. She encourages mothers to let go of the pressure to be perfect and instead focus on what is best for their child.
The Role of Social Media and Peer Influence
Aubrey admits that she was initially overwhelmed by the parenting advice she saw on social media. She noticed that many parents had long, elaborate bedtime routines that seemed exhausting. In contrast, the advice from older women in her life was straightforward: put the baby in the bathtub and put them to bed.
She also points out that social media often creates unrealistic expectations. Many mothers feel pressured to breastfeed exclusively, co-sleep, or follow specific routines. However, Aubrey believes that every family is different and that the best approach is to do what works for them.
Support from Family and Community
Aubrey credits her husband, Ashley, for helping her transition into a low-maintenance lifestyle. He encouraged her to take time away from Joel, even when she felt guilty about leaving him. This support allowed them to enjoy quality time together and maintain a healthier balance between parenting and personal life.
Mixed Reactions and Encouragement
While Aubrey’s approach has received positive feedback from younger generations, particularly Gen Z, some older parents have expressed concern. However, she remains focused on those who find her message encouraging. Many mothers have reached out to her through direct messages, thanking her for showing them another way to parent.
Top Tips for Raising a Low-Maintenance Baby
For parents looking to simplify their parenting journey, Aubrey offers the following advice:
- Avoid co-sleeping
- Don’t purchase everything marketed to new parents
- Let go of mom guilt
- Start sleep training early
- Listen to and take advice from older generations
By embracing these strategies, parents can create a more relaxed and manageable environment for both themselves and their children.
